Saturday, October 6, 2012

Empty Nest Moms: What do you think?

Okay, so you've transitioned into the empty nest and lived to tell about it.

What helped you make the transition?

Share with my readers ONE thing that's made this season of life enjoyable. 

Leave a comment and enter to win a $10 Amazon gift card. 
Winner announced on October 31!

23 comments:

Martha A. said...

I do not have an empty nest yet, but I can feel it coming. Which sounds weird considering I have a full house now.
I think though in seeing how people have transitioned the best way was to stay busy with helping others.
martha(at)lclink(dot)com

lollipops said...

I don't have an empty nest but will be interested in checking back to see how they dealt. My one son will probably be leaving the nest in nine months. But I'll still have four at home.

lollipops said...

I forgot to leave my contact info

vernetlh(at)yahoo(dot)com

Eileen Rife said...

Thanks gals for stopping by!

debbie curto said...

I think what helped me was my reading and MUSIC
likesmusic2@consolidated.net

Judy said...

I've had an empty nest for several years now. I think my love of reading, bible studies, volunteering at church has helped a great deal. Up until January of this year I was also a caregiver for my Mom. She died on January 27th.

There are times I ache to have my children all under the same roof again...but I know that can't happen as they have lives to live too.

Blessings!
Judy
sweetpea.judy (at)yahoo(dot)com

Marissa said...

I don't even have kids yet so I don't know what it's like to have an empty nest, but I know what has helped my mom a lot is a text or skype call every once in a while.

marissamehresman(at)aol(dot)com

Eileen Rife said...

Wow, some good feedback thus far, ladies!

Help others.
Read.
Enjoy music.
Participate in Bible studies.
Engage in volunteer work.
Talk with your grown kids via text or Skype.

All wonderful suggestions!

Judy, grieving with you over your dear mother. And praying for you.

Marissa, thanks for your sensitivity to us women a bit further down the road. Your kindness now will come back for you when it's your turn. :)

Anonymous said...

God has not given my husband and I children of our own. So I invest my life in other people's kids. I teach kids in my home 4 days a week. Then when Friday comes I get grumpy. And technically I'm not even old enough to be able to deal with this if I did have kids of my own! I'm afraid if I did get kids and then became an empty nester someday I would be a mess!
~ egilkinc @ juno . com

Eileen Rife said...

Yeah, E, I think we're all a bit of a mess. :) So glad the Lord doesn't give up on us, but continues drawing us to Himself and growing us up in Him.

So glad to hear you are investing in other people's kids. And yes, it's easy to feel grumpy at times. Working with children is tough. Prayerfully, you carve out some down time to do a few things you enjoy to relax, regroup, and refresh.

My third novel in the Born for India trilogy, CHOSEN ONES, profiles a missionary couple who deal with infertility and miscarriage. You may identify in part with the wife's journey.

God bless you as you give to others.

Rhonda's Doings said...

learning new things: kayaking, bikeriding, motorcycle riding (hugging onto to hubby)...help, but I still miss my daughters and grieve that loss often!
Rhonda
rhonda_nash_hall@comcast.net

Marianne said...

Empty nest? That would be when my Mom moves on...not looking forward to it, as we almost experienced it this summer. i would bury myself in work on the farm, in crafts and volunteering, all things i dabble in now.

Eileen Rife said...

Rhonda, Sounds like you've taken a very balanced approach to the empty nest--willingness to engage in new activities but also sense that loss from time to time.

I'm intrigued by how tears can catch me off guard, not so much now as when I first entered the empty nest, but still on occasion. A store I pass where the girls and I used to shop. A card I received from one of them. A song we played together.

What helps me not stay long in the past is remembering that we are making new memories now. We still enjoy doing things together, just in a new season of life for all of us.

Marianne, You've introduced an interesting and tender topic--the reverse empty nest, I guess you might say, when parent comes to live with his/her child.

Many in our age range are also caring for parents. Multiple losses and impending losses are on our plates at the same time. It's good that you have pursuits you enjoy even in the midst of active care giving. I am confident when you look back at this period in your life, you'll be glad you took in your mother.

My sister and brother-in-law cared for my parents for three years with all that means--rough times, funny times, frustrating, hair-pulling times and endearing times, but they would do it all over again given the chance.

Bethanie said...

I don't have an empty nest yet, but as the years tick by I'm reminded to appreciate everyday that the children are still under our roof.

bbhend7@gmail.com

Eileen Rife said...

Thanks for visiting, Bethanie!

You've hit on an important aspect of life that we all need to remember: Be thankful!

Right now you're thankful for every day with the kids.

In the empty nest, we moms need to be thankful for the blessings God has placed right in front of us TODAY.

Karen said...

God led me to writing the year both kids went away to school, & new online writing friendships plus my do-it-afraid joining of our local writers' guild plunged me into both the world of writing and amazing friendships. Also, one of the best things I did during my daughter's senior year of high school--& she hated this--was to speak aloud the words, "This is the last time..." To remind us of drastic change coming our way.

Eileen Rife said...

Karen,

So glad the Lord has opened up a new venture in writing along with awesome friendships!

Susette Williams said...

My three oldest have left home and it is nice to have time with just the three teens, but when they leave home I am really going to miss not having children at home!

I told my children when they all leave home I want to have a scheduled family meal once a month for the children who live close enough to come home to, then we can all (or most of us) still get together.

I want to make sure that all of their children (their cousins) will get to know each other well.

Make plans to keep your family connected and not just for the holidays!

Eileen Rife said...

Great suggestion, Susette! Connection is so important and doesn't just happen without some planning. For many, the family table is a forgotten pleasure. But oh how vital in this day and age of mechanical networking when parents and kids alike are hiding behind screens rather then maintaining and building relationships face-to-face.

Pam K. said...

The absolutely best thing about an empty nest is that when I come home from work, I don't have to be concerned about cooking supper. I can eat whatever and whenever I want. Such freedom! I look for the positive aspects such as this, so I don't dwell on how much I'm missing my kids. I'm thankful for phones to keep in touch with them.

Eileen Rife said...

Great point, Pam! A lot more freedom in this stage of life. There are perks. :)

Terri L. Gillespie said...

I'm probably too late for the gift card, but had to share my empty nest experience. It began at the moment of my last tearful glance toward our daughter wheeling away toward her own life. As I shut the front door, my dear hubby stood, arms outstretched, waiting. As he embraced me, he whispered, "Let's get naked."

Clearly, our POVs were a bit different.

After nearly 15 years as empty nesters, I experienced a broad spectrum of changes. First, I busied myself with what I deemed worthy endeavors and nearly lost myself there.

At this season, I'm learning that developing deeper relationships with the Lord, my husband, and others is the key. For me, that means slowing down; getting out of my head and into the moment. I recently resigned from a very demanding position as COO of a wonderful ministry. My last day is November 16th. Gulp.

It's time to go back to writing, being with friends, and maybe, just maybe learn to cook.

Eileen Rife said...

Haha, Terri! Sounds like someone else I know. Men! :)

Thanks for the reminder that when everything is said and done, life really does boil down to relationships.

That's all that matters for eternity.