“Oh, for a little time to myself!” Hasn’t every
hurried, harried woman uttered those words at some time in her life?
A 4R rejuvenation retreat
just might be the thing you need to refresh body, mind, and spirit.
Bonus
feature: Women from around the world share their secrets on reflecting,
remembering, renewing, and releasing via the scriptures, exercise, diet,
decorating, and beauty regimens.
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CHAPTER ONE teaser
Planning
Your Retreat
If
you don’t get it on your calendar, it won’t happen!
Before you can launch out on your retreat, you first need
to plan. You’ll need to answer several questions: Where will I go? How much
money can I allot? How much time can I spend? Will I go alone or take others
with me? What will I take? Do I have responsibilities I can delegate to others
while I am gone?
Ideally, you will plan well in advance so that you don’t
have to rush through the details. Now that I’m older with some hard-earned
experience under my belt, I’m of the firm mind that every woman needs at least
one 4R Rejuvenation Retreat a year. This doesn’t mean she needs to fly to Maui
or rent a yacht (although that might be nice). A weekend at home with the phone
off the hook, shades drawn, and no family obligations might do the trick. Deciding
factors will involve your personality, preferences, income, and time allowance.
But be prepared for major objections to your plan.
“But Mama, you can’t
go!”
If you still
have children at home, expect them to put up a fuss about your retreat. After
all, Mom’s the hub of the home, isn’t she? How can she simply pull up stakes and relocate, even if it is for an overnight or two? How selfish can she get?
Admit
it—your kids may not be the only ones with this thought. If you’re like most
women with the innate need to nurture, then you’ve likely had that same pesky,
niggling intruder worm its way into your mind. How can I be so selfish? On the heels of that invader are a
multitude of other thoughts. How will the
family get along without me? What will my husband fix for dinner? Who will take
Johnny to Little League practice? And on it goes.
There
may be tears. Tantrums. And that’s just from your husband. Good grief, one or
more may threaten to sue. Their reactions merely reinforce that it’s well past
the time to get away. Your kids need your absence as much as you need to be
absent. A little temporary separation can actually help them grow up and wean
themselves from Mama’s apron strings.
Advance
planning will help ease your family’s concerns and prayerfully, stave off an
all-out war. Not only will you prepare your family, but you will feel more
comfortable and confident leaving them.
Where will I go?
I get a great thrill out of the internet these days.
Isn’t Google wonderful! I can travel anywhere I want from the comfort of my
couch. With great deals, to boot. I like to ask myself the question (yeah, I’m
big on questions): If money were no object, where would I go?
I actually posed this question to myself when I turned
50. I decided I wanted to take a week-long trip up the Atlantic coast in the
fall, stopping in the New England states to take in a Bed and Breakfast or two,
searching out the little white frame churches you see on calendars amidst
autumn colors, riding a horse, and enjoying a maple syrup festival, for
starters. Sadly, I never followed through. But guess what? It’s never too late
to fulfill a dream. I plan on taking this trip when I turn 60.
What about you? What
would your dream retreat look like? Consider the activities you enjoy, but perhaps
rarely get to do. Maybe a weekend at the beach, a hike through the Poconos, or
a rustic cabin stay in Gatlinburg. Jot your ideas on paper, then start
searching websites for possibilities. For most of us, money is an object, so you’ll need to decide
ahead of time how much you will spend. Your options will shine brighter if
you’ve set aside money each month with a view toward an annual retreat.
How much money can I
allot?
Since money is typically a touchy subject for most
couples, if you’re married, you will want to discuss this with your husband.
Decide on a percentage of your paycheck to reserve for your annual outing. Even
a few dollars a month can add up over a year’s time. Let’s suppose you only
reserve $5 a month over the course of a year for your cherished getaway. You
could put that $60 toward a motel night in your own city. Perhaps a motel with
a pool, spa, or rec room. Or you might treat yourself to a facial or new
hairstyle.
If you can save more, great. The object is not how much
you spend or where you go, but simply reserving time and a place for you to be
alone, assess your life, and refresh your body, mind, and spirit with the Lord
as your guide.
How much time can I
spend?
The answer to this question will largely depend on the
money you have to spend and the time you can afford to be away from your work,
your family, and other commitments. Another factor to consider is how
desperately you need this retreat. If you’ve starved yourself of relaxation,
you’ll require more time to regroup and refresh. That’s why it’s so important
to take an annual retreat so that you don’t become overwhelmed by life and
responsibilities.
For some, a day-long retreat to a park might be
sufficient. For others, a week in Maui isn’t long enough (is a week in Hawaii ever
long enough?).
If finances hinder you from pursuing the dream retreat
you’d like or need, simply go with what you can afford. With this in mind, you
may need to take several inexpensive retreats throughout the year so that you
can bring your body, mind, and spirit back into balance. Once you begin to
practice the retreat ritual, you may discover you only require the annual
escape in order to stay well-balanced.
Let me pause here to say that the 4R Rejuvenation Retreat
is separate from the family vacation or the couple getaway, which are both
equally important to build and maintain relationships and foster good memories.
Will I go alone or take
others with me?
The answer to
this question lies for the most part with your personality. If you’re an extrovert
who feels energized and revived by others, then you will likely want to take at
least one person with you. Otherwise, you might be bored or even depressed.
Going it alone is not your style. If you are an introvert who craves hours of
alone time, you’ll likely enjoy taking a retreat by yourself. You like the idea
of calling your own shots, getting up when you want to, browsing sites and
shops at your own pace, and spending hours with your nose buried in a book.
I’ll let you in on a little secret. I’m primarily an
introvert according to my Myers-Briggs assessment. But I didn’t need that tool
to confirm what I already knew about myself, because nothing fuels my spirit
more than large doses of quiet reflection. That doesn’t mean I don’t like
people. It simply means that the primary way I revitalize is with heavy doses
of alone time.
If you do decide to include others, you will need to
invite them well in advance. Be sure to let them know the purpose of the trip.
It’s important that you don’t allow others to sidetrack you from this annual
evaluation time, so only invite friends who share the same trip goal. We’ll
discuss the four assessment areas in depth, beginning with chapter three.
What will I take?
Since the
primary purpose for your retreat is to assess your life in various areas, you
will want to take a notebook or some type of journal to record your thoughts.
You will also want to bring your Bible and any other reading material to
enhance your time. If you enjoy a craft or hobby that you don’t typically have
time to work on, you may want to bring that as well. If you play a portable
musical instrument, definitely bring that along.
Knitting,
sketching, scrapbooking, and photography are examples of activities you may
want to do that can help you process your life. A good retreat will include a
variety of activities to address body, mind, and spirit.
Other items you may want to include are a camera, water
bottle, backpack, swim suit, beauty products for experimenting with a new look,
folding chair, and sun glasses. While you’re packing your suitcase, keep a
notepad handy for responsibilities you need to delegate while you’re away.
What responsibilities
do I need to delegate while I’m gone?
It’s unrealistic
to think we can simply sweep out the door without thought to what will happen
when we’re away. But I hardly suspect we have an issue with that type of
thinking. Most of us women are worried that when we step out of the house,
mayhem will break loose. Clothes strewn everywhere. Gum wrappers, and who knows
what else, under the bed. Ice cream for supper. And missed appointments. Yeah,
all that could happen, especially if we fail to plan.
A calendar with clearly marked events can help. A chart
for each member of the family taped to his/her closet door might also solve
confusion. Appointing various ones to cover meals on different days of the week
might be the answer. Whatever you decide, sit down with the family before you leave and discuss things to
be done while you are gone.
In the end, after you’ve given planning and briefing your
best shot, let it go. Yes, let it go. Sail out of the house a free woman. The
family won’t deteriorate in your absence. In fact, they might just rally
together to make life work without you. If we peer deep inside our hearts,
perhaps that’s what troubles us the most—that our family just might find a way
to survive after all. If you find this thought troubling, take heart, we’re
gonna work on that “release” thing later on. So hang on for the retreat ride!
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Happy Retreating!
