For Writers: The Power of a Book Cover

A few months before RESTORED HEARTS was released, a woman approached me anxious to know when the book would be ready. I told her the manuscript was in the hands of my editor and would prayerfully be available soon.

The woman's son was grief-stricken and angry over his father's homosexual lifestyle. This mom was concerned that her ex-husband's behavior would destroy any hopes for a relationship between her son and his dad.

When RESTORED HEARTS came out, she bought a copy, read it, then passed it along to her son. I told her I would pray for healing and restoration in her family. The son made it to chapter three but could go no further. He closed the book and laid it aside. The reality of what many homosexuals encounter was too difficult for him to swallow.

That was two years ago. Even though I had not received any updates on this particular situation, I continued to pray as the Lord brought this family to mind.

A few months ago, the woman approached me again, this time with a spark of hope in her eyes. She told me that her son was sitting on a park bench when a butterfly landed on his backpack. He did a double-take when he realized the insect was the exact same species as the one on the RESTORED HEARTS book cover. Perhaps I need to go back and finish reading that book, he thought.

His mother reported that he did finish the book and told her he had changed his attitude toward his dad. He now wanted to seek healing and restoration for their relationship.

Sometimes, it's the small things—like a butterfly on a book cover revisited at a park bench—that God can use to make all the difference in the world.

 ~~

Eileen Rife is the author of the Born for India trilogy, inspired by her single missionary daughter’s call to India. She and her husband, Chuck, conduct marriage seminars in the states and overseas. www.eileenrife.com, www.guardyourmarriage.com

Who Will Weep for the Homosexual?

The question, “Who will weep for the homosexual?” has been ruminating in my mind and heart the last day or so.

Is my heart broken for these individuals who through their same-sex thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are longing for a relationship that satisfies?

Those with unwanted same-sex attraction are craving the beauty and pureness of God’s original intent: marriage between one man and one woman for a lifetime (Genesis 2:24-25; Mark 10:6-9; Ephesians 5: 22-33). Moses, Jesus, and Paul tie together the thread of Scripture on marriage, reiterating God’s created design for male and female who are equipped and sanctioned to come together as one flesh. 

The yearning in the heart of one who longs to follow God’s intended model, but feels s/he cannot, creates enormous emotional, psychological, and spiritual conflict.

And rightly so. As with any sinful dysfunction—whether it be greed, alcoholism, compulsive eating, stealing, shopping, or lying—it is conflict that can move the hurting individual to seek help. Pain paves the way for change. In 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, the apostle Paul presents one of the strongest statements concerning the truth that homosexuals can indeed change. In this passage, homosexuality is listed as one among many sins that the Corinthian believers had been delivered from. Paul says, But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.  What great hope this offers those dealing with unwanted same-sex attraction.  

However, restoration is not an easy process. The inner need for acceptance, approval, and love can drive a person to seek satisfaction in any number of forms. An addiction is a person’s way of addressing a love hunger for God, temporarily anesthetizing the emotional pain that usually comes from past hurts. The addiction satisfies for a time—Satan’s way of reeling the person in—but sooner or later the addiction results in a sickening spiral down. The ensuing lack of control creates a greater need, and thus the addiction fuels itself.

For my character, Tim, in the novel RESTORED HEARTS, he seeks the male affirmation he missed from his father in eroticized relationships with other men. The Holy Spirit keeps nudging his heart, causing him to realize the deception of his behavior. He runs from Boston back to his missionary upbringing in India in hopes that he can leave his homosexual lifestyle behind once and for all. But he soon discovers he cannot.

It takes the wise discernment of the mission psychologist to help Tim unearth the roots of his sinful dysfunction and enter into a healing process which incorporates a loving relationship with Jesus Christ at the center. Dr. Hauser weeps for and with this hurting young man over his loss of paternal love and approval. As a godly father figure, he stands with him as he faces his brother’s anger and rejection. When others ignore Tim, Dr. Hauser remains by his side as he struggles, fails, and gets back up again. Like Jesus, he presents a mix of truth and grace. Conviction and compassion.  He helps Tim embrace his identity in Christ as a beloved, fully forgiven, and totally accepted son of the heavenly Father (Ephesians, chapter one).  

As I developed my character Tim, I, too, wept alongside of him. His pain became my own. I grieved when his brother rejected him, when the pastor ignored him, and when the Indian girl, Esha, loved him, but was ignored by him because Tim could not respond to her affection. I saw myself in the differing reactions and I was moved to tears.

My prayer is that I will continue to weep for the homosexual. The struggle is great and not to be minimized in any way. It is a cry for relationship with the Father. Something each of us can prayerfully identify with.

~~

Eileen Rife is the author of RESTORED HEARTS, Book two in the Born for India trilogy. She and her husband, Chuck, conduct marriage seminars in the States as well as overseas. www.eileenrife.com

RESTORED HEARTS, on the Edgy Christian Fiction Writers Blog Tour, Monday, August 1

One brother’s dark secret. Another brother’s scorn. Newlyweds Gavin and Maggie Munsfield return to care for the sick and wounded at the Oasis Compound in Chennai, India, which is still suffering from the recent tsunami. Gavin’s brother, Tim, a landscape artist from Boston, joins the couple for the clean-up and rebuilding of the Compound. But Tim harbors a dark past that threatens to destroy his relationship with his brother . . . and a promising new love.Will family ties be strong enough to bind two wounded hearts, once the secret is revealed?

God Loves Everyone!

I was saddened this morning when I encountered a gentleman who insisted that God hates homosexuals. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Let's use the Bible to set the record straight . . .

Jesus says in John 3:16, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life" (NIV).

Jesus presented the perfect balance of conviction and compassion, truth and grace. He extended His hand and heart to all. He came to restore us to the Father. Anyone who desires to come can drink freely of His living water, which will become "in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life"(John 4:14).

Furthermore, Paul notes in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11: Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of God."

Notice that homosexuality is only one among many sins which Paul condemns. The good news is that through Christ the Corinthian believers had been washed, sanctified, and justified. In short, they had been forgiven by the blood of Christ and restored to the Father.

If God hates homosexuals, then he hates us all, for we are all sinners and worthy of eternal damnation. The ground is level at the foot of the Cross. Through Christ alone are we made right before God.

The Cross stands forever as proof that God loves everyone!

RESTORED HEARTS, your next summer read?

Why I Wrote RESTORED HEARTS

My burden in writing Book 2 RESTORED HEARTS in the Born for India trilogy:

1. To present a mix of conviction and compassion, truth and grace. 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 reveals both of these aspects when it addresses the issues of homosexuality along with a list of other sins the Corinthian believers had been delivered from.

Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

Yes, homosexuality is a sin, but it is a sin no worse than any other sin.

2. To show that we are all sinners in need of a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. The ground is level at the foot of the Cross. Jesus invites us ALL to come and find cleansing through His shed blood.

3. To show that we can be delivered from all manner of sin through the name of Jesus and by the Spirit of our God (1 Cor.6:11).

4. To provoke believers to show compassion to the person who may be sitting right next to them in the church pew and struggling with same-sex attraction, but will not speak up for fear of being pounced upon.

As a Christ-follower, I desire to reach out to people with healing words. Prayerfully those words will always be a mix of biblical truth and grace, welcoming the sinner home into the arms of Jesus.

God's Grace, and the Homosexual Next Door

Since publishing RESTORED HEARTS, Book Two in the Born for India trilogy, which profiles a Christian man’s struggle with homosexuality, I have been on the lookout for additional resources that address the restoration and freedom one can experience in loving relationship with Jesus Christ. God’s Grace and the Homosexual Next Door is just such a resource.

Alan Chambers and the leadership team at Exodus International combine their stories and expertise in this compelling, compassionate book addressing the issue of outreach to the homosexual. Exodus is a Christian organization that serves as an arm of the local church to minister to men, women, and youth who struggle with unwanted homosexuality.

God’s Grace and the Homosexual Next Door opens with a twenty-question quiz to test the reader’s knowledge about homosexuality. Answers are then given throughout the book chapters with the same quiz posted at the back of the book with answers and brief explanations. A helpful Resource List is also included at the end of the book.

As I read through the testimonies, studies, and sound, well-researched material, I noted several key themes:

1) Healing of homosexuality, and any sin for that matter, takes place in the context of community, i.e. a loving body of believers.

2) There is no hierarchy of sin. ALL sin is abominable to God. The ground is level at the foot of the Cross. Therefore, homosexuality is no worse than any other sin.

3) Homosexuality is a relational dysfunction. It results from a person trying to meet a God-given need for love and acceptance in an ungodly way.

4) The opposite of homosexuality is not heterosexuality—it’s holiness.

5) The best evangelism to the homosexual is done through friendship.

Eye-opening chapters include topics such as demystifying homosexuality, developing a Christlike attitude toward homosexuals, the change process, understanding the three degrees of homosexuality, the church’s attitude toward homosexuals, five things not to do when reaching out to the homosexual, and ministry to homosexual young people and to the lesbian. The book closes with 25 questions and answers about gay ministry and five stories from those whose lives have been transformed by Jesus Christ.

The book challenged my thinking, broke my heart, and moved me to become more sensitive to those who battle unwanted homosexuality. Among the many valuable quotes was Mike Haley’s comment: “I have never met a woman or man who left homosexuality who didn’t do it without taking the outstretched hand of someone else. Because we’re broken relationally, we’re restored relationally” (p.199). What a powerful reminder to reach out in faith rather than retreat in fear when considering befriending a homosexual neighbor, coworker, or family member.

I highly recommend God’s Grace and the Homosexual Next Door if you have a heart that longs to minister to this hurting population of people.

AN ENCOUNTER AT PRIDE IN THE PARK

Had I not looked into her eyes, I would have thought she was the most hardened person on the planet. Muscular build. Dark, short-cropped, spiked hair. Multiple earrings. Black jeans, shirt, and vest. Tattoos snaking up her arm.

As I sat on a stone ledge, I pushed through intimidation and struck up a conversation with the teen girl beside me at a recent Pride in the Park festival celebrating homosexuality. My husband Chuck and I had shared a burden to reach out to this population of people with the love of Jesus. So, here we were, each of us capturing a glimpse into the world of the person beside us.

“I’m Eileen. What’s your name?” I said to the tall, dark girl.

She mumbled an answer. Another girl—smaller, with longer hair and splashes of color on her jeans and shirt—pressed close to the other side of her, gazing straight ahead. A live band played and sang on a stage several yards away. Couples lounged on the grass or in lawn chairs. Others strolled the sidewalk bordering the park.

“What brings you here today?” I dangled a toe in the conversation water.

She shrugged, but did not turn away. “I like to mingle.”

She was a teenager; I could understand her desire to be a part of a group.

“Where do you go to high school?” I ventured another question.

She rattled off a name, so I continued my pursuit.

“What year?”

“Senior,” she said, with a subtle spark in her eyes. Her friend remained cool, distant, and wary.

“Oh, that’s wonderful! Congratulations! What are your plans after graduation?”

Her shoulders began to relax. A bridge to this young gal’s heart was under construction. “Probably community college.”

“What are you interested in?” By now I was standing in front of her, feeling comfortable with our verbal exchange.

“Animals.”

“Ah, maybe you’ll be a vet.”

A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. “Yeah, maybe.”

“Do you go to church anywhere?”

“Yeah.” She rattled off the name of a Baptist church in a nearby town and told me how she had been raised in that assembly of people.

Her openness propelled me on. “So, Susan (not her real name), what does your church think about you attending a Gay Pride festival?”

Another shrug. Then she looked me dead in the eye, a penetrating, almost questioning gaze that pierced me to the core. “I don’t think they care,” she stated matter-of-factly.

My heart dropped to my stomach and I felt sick. I was a Christian who attended a Baptist church. Conviction rippled through me. Who sat in the pew next to me that might feel the same way Susan did, but I had missed her or him, wrapped up in my own world, afraid to venture out?

With fresh resolve, I leaned in to Susan. Her brown puppy dog eyes melted my heart. “Well, Susan, I’m here to tell you that I care. I want you to know that Jesus loves you.” I reached to touch her hand just as the girl beside her tugged on her sleeve, breaking the spell of the moment.

Susan pushed away from the wall and started off with her friend. I knew our brief interchange was over, and I was sad. Caught up in conversation beside me, Chuck glanced over his shoulder and gestured me. “This is Mark (not his real name).”

I stepped over to enter into another exchange, wishing I could have spent more time with Susan, yet knowing that a spiritual seed was planted that prayerfully another Christian would water down the road.

The Love Won Out conference

What a moving and meaningful day at the Love Won Out Conference! Thank you for your prayers. The speakers were humble, gracious servants of our Lord. God answered many of my personal prayers.

Here are some highlights of my weekend:

• Joe Dallas asking me to autograph a copy of Restored Hearts for him.

• Getting copies of Restored Hearts into several other key leaders’ hands:

Melissa Fryrear—director of gender issues for Focus on the Family/Public Policy division

Alan Chambers—President of Exodus International to which a portion of book sales will go. This is currently the largest Christian organization that reaches out to those who struggle and their families.

Dr. Bill Maier—Vice President at Focus on the Family and psychologist-in-residence

Mike Goeke—pastoral counselor to those struggling with same-sex issues

Nancy Heche—mom, speaker, and author whose husband died of Aids and whose actress daughter had a three-year relationship with Ellen DeGeneres

• Placing Restored Hearts into the hands of a visibly hurting family whose son was very much trying to look like a girl. They traveled all the way from Minnesota to attend the conference.

• Meeting and sharing with a middle-aged couple who just found out their son has a homosexual lover

• Meeting another mom who wants to take action in her community against the gay agenda

• Thanking the Focus on the Family team for the opportunity and privilege of serving alongside them as part of their counseling network

• A loving message sent to those who picketed Saturday. Several leaders went out on the sidewalk to talk with the gay activists. Police guards were posted at the church doors. Thanking the Lord for our safety.

Continue to pray for the impact of the conference and for God to use Restored Hearts however and whenever He chooses.