For the Writer: Expect Criticism

If you write for a larger audience than family and friends, expect criticism. Not everyone is gonna like the things you say nor the way you say them. Several thoughts come to mind when considering how to deal with criticism. 

View every form of criticism as a learning experience.

Critique partners offer constructive suggestions on how to improve our writing. Readers sometimes offer harsh criticism on comment forums and review sites. Regardless the origin or intent of the one delivering criticism, his words can be turned into pure gold, if we view them as a way to grow, both as a writer and as a person. How is this possible? 

Pray first then practice humility.

I'll be the first to admit--criticism, whether intended to help or to hurt, can prick the heart and make me wanna kick the dog, if I had one. But if I'm always trying to defend my words or blubbering the injustice of criticism to others, I'm stuck. I'll never grow. And I'm investing precious energy venting rather than creating and tweaking. The best remedy I've found for dealing with the sting of criticism is prayer.

When you feel that stab of pain, take a deep cleansing breath and run to the Lord. Vent with Him, if need be, then ask Him to give you wisdom as you process the reader's words. If you sense the Lord leading you to reply, let humility guide your response. Often, a simple "thank you" for sharing your thoughts is enough to let the reader know you value his input. 

Choose wisely.

We need not address every reader concern, only those God leads us to interact with. Even the harshest comment may have a bit of truth behind it. And often, pain. While we may not be called as therapists, we are called to be sensitive to the needs of others. Hurtful words often come from a hurting heart. At other times, harsh words are the reader's way of struggling for answers. Rarely, is s/he attacking you as a person. The attack may very well be aimed at what you stand for. 

If the reader is challenging your faith, this may be a good opportunity to provide more witness. Again, let the Lord be your guide. Sometimes, a quiet prayer for the reader is all that's required. This, too, is an act of humility. And self-control. 

But most of all . . . love.

Allow yourself to grow as your reader audience grows. Learn to view every form of criticism as a learning experience fueled by prayer and met with humility, wisdom, self control, and love.

Single Savvy

"Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men, but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil."   -Ephesians 5:15-16

Once in awhile, I meet a Christian single who is very dissatisfied with his lot in life. He seems to be hovering over life, fixed in a holding pattern, until God reveals that perfect mate who will share life and ministry and make his life complete. I can't help but feel sorry for that type of person. He is never content. Because he is so busy gazing on what he thinks are greener, more productive pastures, he misses God's will for him TODAY. How sad, and how unnecessary. God has called each of us to a particular station in life. That station may change, just as the seasons change, but each is for a specific purpose.

Therefore, it behooves the single person to be careful how he conducts his life. I like to call it having "single savvy."  The Random House Dictionary defines "savvy" as being "wise, having understanding." Ephesians 5 picks up this thought when it encourages all of us--single and married alike--to be wise, to make the most of our time. Why? Because the days are evil. Just look around you. It doesn't take long to figure that out. Billboards blare out provocative images. Television and movies splash sexual acts across the screen and into our living rooms. Gay and lesbian militants scream for legalized homosexual marriage and the right to adopt children. A government who prays before every session casts prayer out of its nation's schools. Need I say more? The days are indeed evil. So, how can the single find purpose in his current situation, walk as a wise person, and make the most of his time in these evil days? I offer these suggestions:

WALK IN LOVE. 

Ephesians 5:2 says to "walk in love, just as Christ also loved you, and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma."  Focus your energies on loving people, just as Jesus loves and forgives you. Look beyond yourself to others and serve them. What drives you? What talents, gifts, and passions has God put within your heart? You may have more time and energy to devote to the Lord's work now while you are single. If and when you marry, your energies will be divided. Find projects, people, missions you can invest in now that may be difficult to impossible to invest in later should you wed.

Furthermore, all of us battle lust at some time or another, but the temptation may be even greater for the single. Channel that energy into service. Avoid viewing the opposite sex as objects. Think of them as real, living, breathing people made in God's image, who have a personality, a heart and soul, and therefore, true value. Pray for them and their family, even though you may not know them. Prayer can help transform lust into love. Flee places you know are evil and are promoting lust rather than love.

As your life exudes love, you will be releasing a fragrant aroma of witness for God.

WALK IN FAITH.

Colossians 2:6-7 says that "as you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, having been firmly rooted and now being built up in Him and established in your faith, just as you were instructed, and overflowing with gratitude." How did you receive Jesus? By faith. So how do you walk in Him? By faith. Use this period in your life to devote large chunks of time to Bible study and prayer. Attend singles' Bible studies. But don't limit yourself to just singles' groups. Diversify. Mingle with several different age groups. Guide the young. Learn from the old. Keep an open mind, but always be directed by God's truth. Let the Word of God act as a filter for every idea, philosophy, or book that comes across your path. Concentrate on surrounding your life with people, places, and things that will build you up in the faith. And believe that God has your best interests at heart. His plan is always best.

WALK IN CONTENTMENT.

Paul says in Philippians 4:11:  "Not that I speak from want; for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am in." Paul had learned from experience how to walk in humility, yet he boldly and unashamedly proclaimed the gospel of Jesus Christ. Our Lord also learned humility and obedience by the things he endured. What an example of contentment they left us!

What an awesome privilege and responsibility the Christian single has to show the world contentment! To be an ambassador of Jesus Christ! To manage each day as it comes, and let tomorrow take care of itself! To let go of the past, refuse to dwell on the future, and simply live in the present. To fall in love with Jesus and serve Him faithfully NOW!

This can be one of the greatest times in your life, as you seize each day for God's Kingdom glory!

"....making the most of your time, for the days are evil."

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The House that Wisdom Built

THE HOUSE THAT WISDOM BUILT

As you spend time with family this holiday season, look for the treasures that building a godly household provides. Since wisdom is seeing life from God's point of view and then acting upon that godly knowledge, Proverbs, the book of godly wisdom, is an excellent place to immerse our families with practical principles for living.

Read through Proverbs during family devotions and have each member list the characteristics of a godly home. Younger children may wish to DRAW their "characteristics," so provide paper, crayons or markers. Kids love to ACT OUT things, so let them dramatize a characteristic and you guess what they are doing and what biblical principle it illustrates. You could also keep a FAMILY JOURNAL of your "discoveries" from Proverbs.

Keep the devotional time short. No longer than 15 minutes, unless the kids are really "into it" and just don't want to stop. Hey, it could happen! Concentrate on one verse or principle at a time. Discuss how the wise characteristic can impact the daily life of each family member. Conclude your time together by PRAYING for God's power and grace to implement the characteristic for that day. You might even have a special surprise waiting for the child who is able to report during the next devotional time how he/she implemented the characteristic.

A TREASURE BOX of inexpensive goodies/trinkets/coupons that is only opened during devotions is a fun way to reinforce godly principles. Our family was blessed with a grandpa who loved to do wood-working, so he crafted us a beautiful wooden box (similar to a pirate's treasure chest) with a special brass latch that made the experience all the more alluring. Your box can be anything you want it to be! You might decide to let the kids help craft the treasure chest out of a shoebox, scrap lumber, or a plastic Rubbermaid container. Let your imagination be your guide!

EXAMPLE OF FAMILY DEVOTIONS FROM PROVERBS:

READ Proverbs 1:5:  "A wise man will hear and increase in learning, and a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel." (Try reading in different translations).

CHARACTERISTIC FOR TODAY: TEACHABLE

PRINCIPLE TO LEARN AND APPLY: 

A wise person will allow other members of his family to offer constructive criticism or advice. He will listen, evaluate, and make a decision before God. But he is willing to be taught, to learn from other members, even if they are younger than he is. (How often I have gleaned a helpful insight from one of my kids! And how useful and good that makes them feel!) It benefits the entire family when members are teachable. The reverse is also true:  it affects the entire family negatively when members insist on their own way and refuse help of any kind. DISCUSS further thoughts as a family and how the principle can be APPLIED to each life today.

Don't worry about "conquering" the entire book of Proverbs. Go at a pace your family can tolerate. Often small chunks are absorbed and remembered better than large chunks. So don't overdose!

Most of all, have fun! Laugh! Lighten up! God's Word should be a place the kids want to visit. A place of joy and rest. Even as truths bring conviction, as we submit to God's growing process, we discover joy and rest for our souls. Help your children understand that obedience to God yields the peaceable fruit of right living (Hebrews 12:11). Be an example of what it means to be a spiritually alive and growing person. Make memories around God's Word as a family!            

Have fun discovering the house that wisdom built this holiday season as you work your way through Proverbs!